Fat Thursday (or: The Sleep Apnoea Blues)
I'm struggling through my day as I've hardly had any sleep in the last week or so. My sleep apnea is back again, probably as a result of me going over 100kg's again. I had actually managed to drop down to 96kgs at some point in January, but it's all piled on, again, and now that I'm a fat cunt, again, the sleep apnoea is also back. Poor C. is suffering with it too, she's not had much sleep either, what with me keeping her awake.
Sad thing is, it's a spiral: I am tired, so I eat. I eat, I get fat. I get fat, I get unhappy, so I eat. Which makes me fat(ter). And then I get sleep apnoea. I don't sleep. I get tired. And so we go on.
The only solution is to lose the weight again but for that I really need to be in the right frame of mind, which, right now, I am not. So with K. away in Ireland for the next week or so, I'll probably move upstairs and sleep in the spare room so at least C. can get some sleep.
It's 13.45, my calendar is empty for the afternoon, and I am really, really struggling. I wonder if anyone would mind if I just slept for an hour.
They'd probably not notice anyway.
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